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How to break up with someone
How to break up with someone
Almost everyone has had to break up with someone. Some go well and others do not, but I am sure that most people can agree that itís not easy. Relationships will not always turn out the way people expect them to. Problems inevitably occur. And while some couples try to patch things up, sometimes, the only solution left is breaking up. Unfortunately, breaking up to end problems in a relationship can result to more problems. Since breaking up can lead to emotional stresses like depression and the lowering of oneís self-esteem, it is best to be considerate of the feelings of oneís partner. And while there is a song that says, "thereís just no easy way to break somebodyís heart," there should at least an ethical or considerate way to do it.
First you should relax and plan when and where you should tell the person of your intention to break up. Do not just call, email, or text the person that you want to break up. Donít get a friend to do it for you neither. That will be horrible and can show disrespect to the personís feelings. You should choose a place where you and your partner will be able to get emotional and able to ask questions. You owe them the opportunity to talk to you about why you are letting them go.
While you are at the place of your choice and you have sat the person down and you are beginning to speak, remember to keep the conversation calm and rational. This step is the hardest of them all. Tell your significant other why itís not working for you using ďI feelĒ statements. It is unnecessary to make litany of the things you did not like about your partner, as this may only lead to a heated argument or even physical attacks. It is bad enough that you are calling, but it is even more terrible if you start bringing up mistakes from the past and unpleasant situations. Donít just say, ďitís overĒ and get up and leave. Be clear with your intentions.
The next step would be to decide if and when you would like to see each other again. Some exes become the best of friends, and some never speak again. Relationship experts say you shouldnít have any contact with your ex at least eight weeks after the break-up. Figure out what are right for you and your ex. Do not say, ďI just need some time offĒ if you really mean a permanent goodbye. This will give the person false hopes. If it is absolutely over, then let him/her know. If you donít, they might try things to win you back, wasting time, effort, and emotions.
It is important not to play emotional games with your ex after the break-up. It is natural to be lonely in the days immediately following a break-up, but doesnít use that as an excuse to call up your ex and toy with the idea of getting back together. Doing so will only cause confusion and pain for both of you. You should give your some space. It is natural to wonder what your ex is doing. Itís also possible that youíll want to make yourself feel better by hanging out with someone you know is still into you, but doing so is immature and will only serve to hinder you in from moving forward. Avoid hanging out at the places you know your ex will be until youíve given the break up some time to absorb. Donít keep showing up in places where you know your ex will be just because youíre bored or because seeing them gives you an emotional high.
The final step is to stick with your decision. Your ex may take the break up in stride at first, but then call or email you begging for a second chance. Remember that you are breaking up with them for a reason, so donít second-guess yourself. If you receive a call or email from your ex, tell them politely once that you will always care for them but your relationship is over.
After you successfully break up with someone, it's usually a good idea to reflect on how the romance went wrong and focus your ideas of what you hope to find in your next relationship. Try not to jump into your next liaison too quickly, though. Even though you're now an expert on breaking up, it's probably not something you want to do all the time.